My Positive Second Birth Story

When I say I talk from lived experience.. here's the (long) story of what inspired me to become a Hypnobirthing Teacher.

The birth of my littlest was honestly the most empowering and life changing experiences of my entire life. After a traumatic birth and postpartum period with my first daughter, I was determined to get it ‘right’ second time round. I was going through this pregnancy alone which was already a complete different experience to how I had imagined having another child but nonetheless a reason to get the birth I wanted and deserved. I took a Hypnobirthing course, swatted up on my birth rights and got ready to advocate for myself. I prepared the day like a wedding! After getting signed off for a home birth and released from consultant led care, I made my home into a birth centre with all the little details to make it perfect for me; a birth pool, salt lamp, candles and essential oils and enough towels to open a shop!

The day I went into labour was exciting as I knew what was ahead and against all the odds felt extremely prepared and calm. What I didn’t know was when a few cramps started on Saturday at 4pm that I wouldn’t deliver my daughter until 10am on the Tuesday morning! So here’s the story.

Saturday came, 3 days past my due date and by early evening I was having early labour pains and knew it was time to get ready to welcome our new arrival. I ran a deep, warm bubble bath for me and my then 4 year old and we relaxed and laughed together and talked about the future with her baby sister. My best friend and birth partner Hayley messaged to see how I was and I told her I was in labour but it was very early on and to get prepared but stay put for the time being. I carried on as normal, preparing dinner for my daughter, getting her ready for bed and doing some light housework to keep upright and moving. By the time she was asleep the contractions were vamping up a little so I called Hayley to get her to make her way over and she let my second birth partner Jen know what was happening. By 10:30 both friends were with me and were filling up the birth pool which didn’t go to plan due to the wrong fitting for the tap. I started to get stressed and ended up injuring myself by scraping my very large bump on a bit of brick wall in my kitchen. The stress of the pool preparation and trauma to my skin obviously slowed down my contractions and decided to abandon the pool and go to bed.

On the Sunday morning I woke up at 4am and couldn’t feel any movement. I waited for 30 minutes and text my midwife to tell her what was happening. She told me to go straight to triage so I woke Hayley, left Jen with my daughter and whizzed down the road to the hospital. After some monitoring we found out that all was well and she started to move again and the reassurance and some dancing in the room started my contractions again. Because of the reduced movements at full term I was advised to have an induction which made no sense to me seeing as I was already in labour. I had the feeling the midwife didn’t believe me as I was so relaxed and because of my Hypnobirthing tools and gut instinct that all was well I was able to advocate for myself with Hayley’s support and discharged myself from hospital so that we could pick up where we left off at home.

We returned home at 9am and carried on the day as normal. Jen went home to her own children to rest and at 2pm I had my prebooked midwife appointment. I requested a sweep to see if we could get baby moving and she told me I was about 2cm and by the evening the contractions were ramping up once more. We called for assistance but there were no midwives on call so we waited for a midwife from another continuity of carer team to come and see me. I was in quite a bit of pain in my pelvis and thought things were progressing but everytime I got into the pool my contractions slowed down. The midwife told me that I may be willing the contractions to come and to go to bed and rest and if by 1am I was still asleep she would go home.

On the Monday morning I woke up and had had enough! I couldn’t believe I was still in labour after so many hours. I was starting to mentally check out and was feeling very irritated. I called the children’s dad to see if my eldest could go and spend the day so I could relax because I think still being in ‘mum-mode’ was interfering with the progression of labour. Once she had gone I sent Hayley to go back to her own children as she hadn’t seen them since Saturday and Jen came back round to sit with me and talk through why my contractions kept slowing. Jen has worked with me personally through my birth trauma and together we worked out that my contractions were slowing in the water because subconsciously I didn’t feel safe. I can’t swim and had a traumatic experience as a 9 year old at a pool party where I nearly drowned and never swam again. This made so much sense and even though I love water it was the depth that was affecting things. So we decided to abandon the whole water birth plan and after an hour of chatting, drinking tea and swinging in my egg chair in the garden, Jen informed me that she had been timing my contractions secretly the whole time and they were bang on 10 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute. So we were back on track! Jen went home and I went for a walk in my local park in my own to connect with myself and nature. My daughter came home, I continued labouring on my own and went to bed.

At 3:30am on the Tuesday morning I woke up in active labour. The contractions were so intense I couldn’t speak and I knew that this was finally it! I called Hayley and she came straight round and let Jen know that it was finally happening. I called triage to say that I was in active labour and they told me that I needed to come into hospital as there was no one to come to me due to a staff shortage. I explained that I had no one to take me to hospital which confused the lady but now was not the time to go into the why, my continuity team knew the circumstances. I stood my ground and advocated for myself explaining to her that I didn’t need anyone I was just making them aware that someone needed to get to me as soon as possible but I was comfortable for now.

Hayley arrived and I made myself comfortable in my kitchen diner next to the pool and felt very in control and calm. I bounced on my ball, ate and drank some tea and listened to my birth playlist on loud. I knew my personal midwife would be with me at 8am so I just had to go with it for another 4 hours. At 6:30 things started to ramp up and my contractions were getting very close together and lasting the appropriate length. Hayley called for assistance and was told that a community midwife from another county would be with me as soon as possible but it would be at least 45 minutes. I stayed calm and danced in my kitchen. My body just wanted to move. I had the same playlist as I’d had when I was in labour with my first daughter so my subconscious knew what was happening and with my Hypnobirthing breathing and some lavender oil on a tissue, I got into the zone. I needed to be in nature and connected to all the women who had birthed before me. It was too cold to go outside but my lean to between the kitchen and garden was the perfect place to take myself off to and see the garden through the glass. I looked up with my hands on the glass doors and a fox was lay on the shed roof staring right into my eyes. She was with me through every contraction and it was honestly incredible. Just me and her. I danced, I breathed, I laboured.

When the first midwife arrived my progression started to slow as a stranger was in my house. She turned down the music that I had on very loud to get in the zone and I just felt a bit uncomfortable. When the second midwife came, a lady called Denise, everything changed. She was warm and nurturing and instantly made me feel calm. It was from then on me and her, like she was my birth partner. I just kept saying her name and she whispered constantly in my ear to just breathe. As I transitioned I felt as though this was impossible but I also knew from my Hypnobirthing course that this meant i would give birth very soon!

My waters still hadn’t broken and I was in a serious amount of pain, not from the contractions (I was almost enjoying them) but directly after when the bulging of water put so much pressure on my pelvis and coccyx. It was the most intense and overwhelming pain and very familiar as I had experienced it in my first labour. I asked to be examined as I needed to know how I was going, something I had said I didn’t want in my birth preferences but I felt called to change my mind. I had the room working for me, in control and empowered. The midwife that I didn’t like examined me on all fours in the shallow water of the pool. Then came the words “you’re ONLY 7 centimetres”. I was disheartened and very very annoyed as I knew this information would put doubt in my head. Then went the waters as I’d hoped to relieve the pressure but instead of relief I sensed panic in the room. I instantly knew what the matter was and asked “is there meconium?” Again something that had happened the first time. Both midwives said yes and informed me that I would need to be transferred to hospital. I knew I had a choice and could stay at home but I was absolutely exhausted and after 3 days in labour, I decided to go to hospital.

The paramedics arrived shortly afterwards just as my midwife walked through the door. She was confused as to what was happening but I said I wanted to go and felt like it was the right decision. It took me a while to get out of the pool but I took my time and refused to feel rushed. My daughter woke up and came down stairs a little scared at all the people in the house so Jen sat with her in the living room and I can remember only being concerned about closing the curtains so that she wouldn’t be frightened at seeing me go off in an ambulance. I was still very much running the show!

I had been using the gas and air for about an hour prior to the ambulances arrival and with my breathing and staying in control I was progressing quicker than I realised. By the time I got to hospital which was 5 minutes drive from home I was having the urge to push! I hadn’t felt this before as I had had an epidural first time round so it was all new to me but I knew enough from all my hard work learning that this was it! My second continuity midwife met me there so I was in safe hands with the two people who had seen me throughout the pregnany and of course my Hayley by my side. I was wheeled down the corridor shouting “I’m pushing” and it was touch and go whether I’d get there in time. I honestly felt like I was trying to hold her in so as not to do it right there in the middle of the hospital.

When I finally got into a room I crawled like a soldier on to the bed and birthed my daughters head on all fours with my music playing in my ear from my phone. I remember being in euphoria feeling the crowning as I had never experienced it before and was in awe of my body and my strength. And with a bit of gentle coaching her head was born. I was told by another midwife to roll over which in hindsight I shouldn’t have done as I was happy where I was. I was worried about tearing again in this position so tried to lie sort of on my side holding Hayley’s head and birth breathing forcefully. I was almost there! The next bit blew my mind as I had heard of fetal ejection but never experienced it. My body pushed all by itself and even when my midwife told me to stop pushing I had no control over it. I have this part filmed and it just shows you how fast and simple birth can be when you let your body do what it was made to do. I had another contraction and knew it was time and that I would be doing it one go! I took a huge sip of gas and air and pushed with all my might, right through the point where I thought I should give up. I called my daughters name and she literally flew out with such force it shocked us all! I did it!

I have never felt such a high in my entire life and I still beam at the the thought of her birth. I have showed the video to about 50 people and each person is loved to tears at the beauty of it. I had a second degree tear so was stitched up while I cuddled my little girl who had kept me waiting for a total of 66 hours! Breastfeeding came very naturally and she latched straight on as I was delivering my placenta, another gift I had missed first time round as I had been in theatre for 4 hours. I was so grateful and couldn’t stop thanking all the midwives and Hayley as if I had won an Oscar! The whole experience was the most amazing journey and even though I didn’t actually give birth at home, the whole of my labour was where I wanted to be and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

If you made it to the end.. well done! I hope my story has inspired you to push for a positive birth experience.